Hopeless: A High School Bully Romance (Playa Del Mar Book 1) Read online

  Belle covers her mouth. “Oh my god. My pizza.”

  Willow glares at her. “How about, ‘oh my god, your clothes?’” She stares down at the grease and tomato soaking into the fabric. “Great. I’m covered in animal by-products. Come on,” she says to Belle.

  “Where are we going?”

  “I’m going to the bathroom,” she tells her. “And you’re going to help me get these murderous ingredients off me.”

  Emily stifles a laugh. Belle glares at her. “You better go,” Emily tells her. “You know what a bitch Willow can be when she’s pissed. You better make nice with her.”

  Belle sighs and looks longingly at the pizza laying facedown on the grass. “This is tragic.” She follows after Willow.

  Emily pats her stomach. “At least I got a slice.” She gives me a sympathetic look. “Oh my god. You didn’t.”

  “It’s fine,” I say. “I’m…I’ll probably just go grab something from the vending machines.”

  And look for Hayden, I think.

  Maybe he’s still here. Maybe he’s looking for me.

  “Oh, please,” Emily says. She pulls her water bottle from the side pocket of her backpack and unscrews the cap. “I know where you’re really going.”

  I freeze. Does she know about me and Hayden? More importantly, do I want her to. “You do?”

  She nods. “I’m not stupid, you know.” She grins, a slow, wicked smile playing over her lips. “You’re going off to find your boyfriend, aren’t you?”

  I gulp. “What?”

  “Your boyfriend,” she repeats. “I would, too.”

  I’m still in shock that she knows. How would she? Were people talking about us? Did she see us together?

  “I mean, this is the first day you guys can be together at school. I’d totally go hunt him down.” She sips her water. “Although, I gotta say, I don’t really see the two of you as a couple. And he's acting really weird.”

  I try to process what she’s saying. “What do you mean?”

  “You and Ben,” she says.

  “What?”

  “You and Ben,” she repeats.

  “What about me and Ben?”

  She smiles and shakes her head. “You don’t have to pretend with me. He told me all about you guys.”

  My pulse quickens. “He told you what about…us?”

  “Your long-distance relationship.” She sighs. “It’s so romantic. And now the two of you finally get to be together. Like, actually together.”

  I don’t listen to another word.

  Because I’m racing across the quad, determined to figure out what the hell she’s talking about.

  Chapter 27

  I don’t get far.

  Because Hayden stops me.

  “Hey,” he says, as I’m about to sail past him. He reaches his hand out and grabs my arm. He’s smiling.

  I’m not.

  His brow furrows. “Is everything okay?”

  No.

  Everything is not okay.

  I don’t know what the hell is going on. All I know is that Emily just told me Ben is my long-distance boyfriend.

  And he most definitely is not.

  Hayden is looking at me. He drops his hand.

  “I…I have to go check on something,” I tell him. It sounds lame but I don’t know what else to say. Definitely not the truth…whatever that is.

  “Okay.” His dimpled smile makes my heart flutter. “I was going to see if you wanted to get food.”

  So he was looking for me.

  “I would but I have something I have to take care of,” I tell him. “Can I get a rain check?”

  “Definitely.” He’s holding the keys to his car and he spins the key ring on his finger. “Maybe after school?” He leans a little closer and says, his voice just a murmur, “I’ve missed you.”

  My heart and stomach threaten to collide. “Yes.” And then I add, “And I’ve missed you, too.”

  “I’ll find you this afternoon,” he says. “Tell me you don’t have to be anywhere after school.”

  “Why?”

  He smiles. “Because I want to spend the rest of the day with you.”

  I manage a nod and watch as he heads toward the parking lot. Beckett and Xander are hanging out by the fence and Beckett shoots a glance in my direction. I can tell he’s wondering why I’m not coming with.

  I turn and hurry toward the class hallways. I have no idea where Ben might be but I’m going to spend the rest of lunch period looking for him.

  He isn’t hard to find.

  I’m scoping the English hallway when I see him slip out of a classroom. I run toward him, mumbling a half-hearted apology when I bump into a kid who’s so little, he looks like be belongs on the middle school campus.

  “Ben.” He doesn’t turn to look at me. I say, more sharply this time, “Hey!”

  He stops. His shoulders are hunched, his head hanging.

  I march in front of him and stare him down. “What the hell is going on?”

  “What do you mean?” he says. He won’t look at me. “I’m checking in with—”

  “Why does Emily think I’m your girlfriend?”

  He jerks his head up.

  And says nothing.

  I glare at him. “I’m serious, Ben. You better fucking start talking.”

  Something registers—maybe he realizes how pissed I am—and he reaches for me.

  I take a step back. “Don’t touch me.”

  “Please, Sydney.” His voice is a whisper. “I can explain.”

  “Oh my god. So it’s true.” I’m shaking, I’m so angry. “You told everyone I’m your girlfriend?”

  He reaches for me again and this time his hand closes around my wrist. “Please.” His voice is desperate. “Can we not do this right here? Right now?”

  “Are you fucking serious?”

  His brown eyes are damp with tears, and he looks scared. “Please,” he says again. A plea.

  My anger abates a little.

  He rakes his free hand through his curls. “I promise, I can explain everything. Just…” He glances around. A couple of underclassmen are staring at us curiously. “Just not here.”

  “Fine.” I fold my arms. “Then where?”

  “Come to my house after school.”

  I shake my head. “No way.”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll come to you. I’ll come to your house. Right after school. I promise.”

  But Hayden fills my mind. I’m spending the afternoon with him.

  My boyfriend, if that’s what he is.

  My actual boyfriend.

  “No,” I say, shaking my head. “I’m busy. Tell me now.”

  Ben draws in a shaky breath. “I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “I just can’t. Not here.” The desperation is still there in his voice and even though I’m furious with him, I can’t help but wonder what the hell is going on with him. Why he told such a lie, and why he’s so scared to talk about it right now.

  “Please, Sydney,” he said. “I will explain everything. I promise. Just…just don’t tell anyone anything yet, okay? Not until we get a chance to talk.”

  I don’t know that I owe him that.

  How many people think Ben is my boyfriend? And why would he do it?

  As pissed off as I am, other memories come into focus.

  Of Ben being my only friend when I first moved to Christchurch.

  Of Ben always being there to talk to.

  Of Ben welcoming me back with open arms.

  As angry as I am with him for lying, I can’t forget what his friendship has meant to me over the last four years.

  I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

  I look at him. He’s chewing his lip, and a muscle is pulsing in his temple.

  “Fine,” I finally say.

  He exhales deeply.

  “But we’re talking today. I don’t care what time it is.”

  Chapter 28

  The rest of the day
is a blur. I don’t remember anything from my afternoon classes because all I can think about is Ben and the fact that he’s told at least one person I’m his girlfriend.

  I’m pissed and I want answers, but I also can’t forget how Ben reacted when I confronted him

  I could tell he felt bad—that much was obvious—but there was so much more to his response.

  He was scared.

  And I don’t know why.

  The last thing I want to do is wait until tonight to talk to him, but I’m not going to miss out on an afternoon with Hayden. Maybe he can help me take my mind off it, at least.

  I check my phone as soon as the last bell rings. There is a text from Hayden, telling me to meet him out in the senior parking lot. I leave my English class and head to my locker.

  Emily is standing nearby. “Hook up with loverboy?” she asks with raised eyebrows.

  I just smile and start stuffing books in my backpack.

  “I gotta say, I didn’t believe Ben when he first told me,” she says. “But I don’t know, seeing you guys together today…I think I can totally see it.”

  I open my mouth, then stop.

  I’m not going to correct her, not going to blurt out the truth, until I talk to Ben.

  “When did he tell you?” I ask instead.

  “About you guys?” She cocks her head and thinks for a minute. “I don’t know. At least a year ago. Probably longer.”

  I try not to frown. At least a year? He’s been lying about us for that long?

  “Willow and I are gonna go get coffee. Wanna come?”

  I barely hear her.

  Because now I’m wondering, if Ben told Emily at least a year ago, this isn’t something new that he fabricated. And if she thinks we’ve had this long-distance relationship thing going, do other people think that, too? How many people has he told this lie to?

  “Sydney?”

  I look at her and realize she’s still waiting for me to respond.

  “Oh, uh, no. I…I’ve got some stuff I need to do.”

  “Ben?” She raises her eyebrows. “Need to go do Ben?” She laughs.

  My frown breaks through. “No.”

  If she notices my expression, she doesn’t comment. She just laughs again and slaps my shoulder. “Have fun. I’m gonna want all the details.”

  She saunters off and I slam my locker door so hard, it rattles the frame.

  “What did that locker do to you?”

  Lucas leans up against the locker next to mine.

  I stare at him. “Fuck off.”

  His eyes widen. “Whoa. Who pissed you off? I’m just trying to say hi, beautiful.”

  Memories of last Friday night flood my mind and my heart starts to race.

  “Stay the fuck away from me,” I tell him.

  “What is your problem?”

  “What’s my problem?” I gape at him. “You fucking tried to rape me!”

  His mouth drops open. “What?”

  “Friday night? At the party?”

  He shakes his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  I feel like I’m living in some alternate universe. “You and your friends attacked me on the beach.”

  His brow furrows. “Uh, I’m the one that got attacked. Down on the beach. I didn’t even see you Friday night.” His eyes glint. “Though I wish I had…”

  Does he seriously not remember? How is that even possible?

  One of his buddies shows up, a shorter guy with arms as thick as tree trunks. I’m not entirely sure but I think he’s the one who grabbed me first.

  “Tell him,” I demand.

  The guy looks at me. “What?”

  “Tell him what happened Friday night.” My hands are shaking. “Tell him you held onto me. Tell him you left so he could assault me.”

  Lucas laughs. “She’s fucking crazy.”

  I can see his friend biting the inside of his cheek. He won’t meet my gaze. “I don’t even know you,” he finally says.

  Lucas straightens up. “Should have known you were too good to be true. Hot, yes. But batshit crazy.” He nudges his friend. “Come on, Blake. We’re out.”

  I watch as they walk away, staring after them in disbelief.

  I’m still shaking as I make my way to the parking lot a few minutes later. Not from fear, but because I’m beyond pissed. Why would he pretend nothing happened? And why the hell was his friend backing him up?

  Hayden’s car is the only one left in the lot by the time I get there.

  “I was just getting ready to text you,” he tells me. “Wasn’t sure you were coming.”

  “Sorry,” I mutter as I open the passenger door.

  He doesn’t start the car. “What’s wrong?”

  I laugh, a short harsh laugh. What isn’t wrong might be a better question.

  “Sydney?”

  I throw my head back. “I just saw Lucas.”

  “Did you kick him in the balls?”

  “He says nothing happened Friday night. His friend was there, too. At my locker. He looked at me like I was crazy.” I close my eyes. “It happened, right? You remember?”

  “Yeah.” Hayden is pissed. “Yeah, I remember. I fucking pulled him off of you.”

  “Then why would he lie?”

  “Because he’s an ass?” Hayden offers. “Or because he was so wasted he doesn’t remember?”

  “He couldn’t have been that drunk.”

  “Yeah, he could have,” he says. “You don’t know Lucas. Dude blacks out all the time. Yeah, I punched him a couple of times, but he probably doesn't even remember that. He passed out.”

  Maybe what he's saying is true. Maybe Lucas was drop-dead drunk. But that wasn't an excuse and it didn't make what he did to me okay. There is no excuse for that. I don't care if his blood alcohol content was off the charts.

  No excuse.

  “The dude is a total dick,” Hayden says. His jaw is clenched. “I’ll make sure he knows to stay the fuck away from you.”

  “I don’t need you to save me,” I tell him.

  “I know you don’t need me,” he says. “But I’m going to. Whether you want me to or not.” He reaches for my hand. “You’re mine, Sydney. No one is gonna mess with you.”

  My heart begins to pound again, but not because of Lucas.

  Because of Hayden’s words.

  You’re mine.

  Chapter 29

  “You live here?”

  We’re standing on the steps of a massive house on the south side of Playa Del Mar. It’s a sprawling, white two-story that looks like it belongs on the beaches in Malibu.

  Hayden smiles. “No. I’m breaking in.”

  “What?”

  He holds up his key ring. “With a key.”

  He pushes one of the double front doors open and steps inside. I follow, marveling at the bank of windows opposite where I’m standing. It offers a panoramic view of the ocean and the beaches just below.

  Hayden drops his backpack on the floor and heads to the kitchen, a room that is almost as big as my grandpa’s entire house.

  I am frozen in place.

  “You gonna just stand there?” he asks as he pulls a bottle of water out of the fridge.

  “What does your dad do?” I ask.

  He frowns. “What?”

  “For a living.” I set my own backpack down and slowly head toward him, surveying the rooms.

  “Drugs.”

  I stop walking. “Are you serious?”

  He nods.

  I don’t know what to say.

  He laughs. “Pharmaceuticals, Sydney. Legal drugs.” He smirks. “Although I guess they can do as much damage as the illegal shit these days.”

  “Isn’t that the truth.” Even though New Zealand didn’t have an opioid crisis like the United States, I still heard about what was going on back home.

  “You thirsty?” he asks.

  I shake my head.

  “Hungry?”

  “No.” I move toward the win
dows until only an inch separates me from the glass. “The view is incredible.”

  Hayden steps in behind me. “Yeah, it is.” His voice is low, husky, and I know he’s not talking about the ocean.

  I spin around and he leans down to kiss me. It’s sweet, gentle, with the promise of more if I want it.

  “Wanna see my room?” he asks.

  I laugh. “Wow. Subtle.”

  He smiles and my breath hitches in my throat. He is so goddamn gorgeous.

  “I just thought I’d show you around,” he says innocently. “Give you a tour. Most people want one when they come over.”

  “Do you always start with your room?”

  He grabs my hand and pulls me toward a hall just off the kitchen. “Never,” he says.

  I fully expect him to lead me straight to his bedroom but he doesn’t. Instead, he shows me his dad’s office, a room closed off by French doors and which looks like it’s never used. The desk is clear of paperwork, the bookshelves are lined with brown, leather-bound volumes all perfectly aligned at the edge of the shelves, and the small seating area, with a leather loveseat and matching arm chair, look as though they’ve never been sat on.

  There is a guest bedroom, an exercise room, a sauna, and his dad’s master bedroom tucked at the back of the house, and its own private deck overlooking the ocean.

  I turn to Hayden when we get to the end of the hall. “Where’s your room?”

  He points. “Upstairs.”

  I follow him up carpeted stairs that feel like clouds under my feet. They lead us to a single, spacious room with three walls consisting almost entirely of windows.

  “This is your…room?”

  He nods.

  I drink it all in. It’s like a studio apartment, with the room sectioned off into smaller areas. There is a sitting area, with a couch and coffee table, and an enormous flat screen TV mounted on the wall. A console underneath houses at least three different gaming systems. Another section has a round table and two chairs, and a counter with a microwave, a Keurig machine, and a mini fridge tucked underneath. His bed, a king-sized monstrosity, is piled high with pillows and is positioned so it looks out toward the ocean.

  But there is another area that pulls me toward it, a nook with a desk and a computer. Mounted on this wall, the only stretch of solid surface in the room, are dozens of photographs, all different sizes, some color, some black and white.