Hopeless: A High School Bully Romance (Playa Del Mar Book 1) Read online

  Ainsley and Nina look anxiously from Ben to Charity, unsure of what to say or how to respond. Should they defend their friend? Attack Ben or me? Or just stay quiet and say nothing?

  Charity smiles. “It doesn’t matter who took the photos.” Her voice is silky and soft. “All that matters is the end result. Those pictures showed Hayden the truth about her.”

  “You wouldn’t know the truth if it jumped up and bit you on your overrated ass,” Ben says.

  She just keeps smile, her eyes glittering. “The truth is relative.”

  Ben explodes with laughter. “Oh? Like alternative facts?” He glances around the crowd. “Well, guess what? We’re going to share our version of the truth with the people who need to hear it. And they can decide for themselves what they want to believe.”

  He lets go of my arm and, before I can stop him, he disappears into the crowd of people.

  Charity and I stand next to each other, both of us staring after him.

  And both of us wondering what he’s going to do next.

  Chapter 45

  After the initial shock wears off, I chase after Ben, jostling my way through the dining area and out on to a back deck overlooking the canyon below. It’s a little less crowded out here and I spot Ben immediately.

  “What are you doing?” I ask, a little breathlessly.

  “Looking for Hayden.”

  “What?” His response startles me. “Why?”

  “To tell him he’s wrong about you. About us.”

  “Why the hell would you want to do that?”

  “Because he should know the truth.”

  I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Yes, it does.”

  “No, it doesn’t,” I tell him firmly. “He already made up his mind that what he saw and what he heard was the truth. And then he decided to add fuel to the fire by telling everyone that he slept with me. He can fuck off for all I care.”

  The words come easily enough but it still hurts to say them. Of everything I experienced over the last several days, Hayden’s betrayal hurts the most.

  “Hayden is an asshole,” Ben says, nodding in agreement. He’s taller than me and I can tell he’s still scanning the faces of the people around us. “And I knew he’d end up breaking your heart. But I want him to know that he’s flat-out wrong about you.”

  “No.” It’s the last thing I want Ben to do. “I don’t want you to talk to him. I want to go home.”

  “We will. After I find Hayden.”

  “I want to go home now. Please, Ben, just take me home.”

  “Oh, yes, Ben,” a voice singsongs behind us. Lucas. “Please take me home. And do me.”

  Lucas and Blake double over laughing.

  “Do you guys have pictures of that? Maybe of Sydney here spread-eagle, waiting for you?” Lucas asks, his bloodshot eyes wide. “I could totally jerk off to a picture like that.” He rubs his crotch. “Especially since there’s no fucking way I’m filling any of your holes now. Skank.”

  Blake cackles with laughter. “She’s a walking Super Fund site!”

  “Knock it off,” Ben grits out.

  Lucas holds up his hands in mock surrender. “Oooh, or what? Are you gonna…fight me?” He giggles.

  I see Ben’s fingers flex and then form into a fist.

  “Come on,” I tell him. “Let’s just go.”

  “God, look how eager she is,” Lucas sneers. “Your panties a little wet, hon? Maybe you can just find somewhere to do it here if you can’t wait?”

  “Fuck. Off.” Ben’s posture is tight, his clenched fists tucked to his sides.

  “More like ‘fuck me,’” Lucas says, mimicking a female voice. He starts panting and moaning. “Fuck me. Fuck me. Oh, do me now.”

  Ben launches into Lucas, his fist connecting with Lucas’s cheek. But it glances off him because Lucas sees it coming and thrusts out an arm to stop him. Lucas smashes his fist into Ben’s stomach and he crumples, clutching his mid-section and gasping for breath.

  I scream and drop to my knees.

  Blake grabs me, his arms locked around my stomach, and hauls me to my feet. His breath is hot against my ear. “Oh, so sad loverboy is getting his ass kicked?”

  I squirm against him, trying to break free. Lucas is on Ben now, who has his hands covering his face as Lucas drills his kidneys, his shoulder, his skull, anything he can connect with.

  A crowd has gathered, forming a semi-circle around the two of them. I focus briefly on a familiar face. Hayden. His expression is impassive, even when his gaze turns to me. Something flickers in his eyes when he notices Blake’s arms restraining me, but just as quickly as I see it, it disappears.

  “Stop!” I scream. “You’re hurting him!”

  If anything, my cries just make Lucas attack Ben even more ferociously and I’m afraid he’s going to actually kill him.

  No one is doing anything. All of these assholes are just standing there, watching my friend—my only friend—get the shit kicked out of him.

  And for what reason?

  Because he defended me.

  Desperation claws at me and I smash my head backwards, connecting with Blake’s jaw.

  “You bitch!” he howls.

  He immediately releases me and I don’t even think before jumping onto Lucas’s back. My fingernails rake down his cheek, digging into his flesh, and he shrieks and tries to shirk me off of him. But I dig my nails in, even when I feel them cut through his flesh and liquid ooze from the wounds.

  Lucas stands up and grabs my shirt in one sweeping motion. He tosses me like a rag doll to the ground and then lands a hard kick to my stomach. The pain takes my breath away and I curl my knees to my chest and cover my face, sure that he’s going to do to me what he just did to Ben.

  “You little bitch,” he seethes. He leans down and grabs me by the hair. Even in the haze of pain, I can still smell the alcohol on his breath and I can see the bloody, zigzagged scrapes my nails have left on his cheeks. “You’re gonna pay for this.”

  He winds back his arm and I squeeze my eyes shut, bracing myself for impact.

  But it never comes.

  Instead, he drops the fistful of hair he’s holding.

  I open my eyes, worried what I might see. Maybe he wants me to be looking at him when he slams his fist into my face.

  But Lucas isn’t in my sight line.

  He’s sprawled out on the floor, moaning and holding his nose.

  And Hayden is standing over him, his fist raw and bloody, his chest heaving.

  “What the fuck, man?” Lucas moans. “You broke my nose.”

  A mixture of gasps and murmurs rises up from the crowd of people gathered around us.

  “Don’t touch her again,” Hayden warns.

  Lucas cradles his nose. “I was doing you a favor, dude.” His fingers are soaked with blood. “You should be thanking me for kicking the shit out of that guy. And her, for cheating on you.”

  Ben moans and struggles into a sitting position. His eye is puffy and swollen, already turning black and blue, and he’s still holding his stomach.

  “She didn’t cheat,” he gasps.

  Lucas laughs harshly. “What the fuck ever, dude.”

  “She didn’t cheat.” Ben’s voice is a little louder, a little more firm.

  Hayden barely gives him a passing glance. He looks at me, his expression unreadable. He turns to leave.

  Ben gets to his knees, then to his feet. He sways a little as he does so and I struggle to a standing position in the futile hope of helping steady him.

  Ben’s eyes are locked on Hayden. “She didn’t cheat.”

  Hayden looks at him over his shoulder.

  Ben swallows and then says, his voice loud and clear, “Because I’m gay.”

  Chapter 46

  “Stop,” I hiss.

  My arm digs into Ben’s.

  Hayden is staring at him, his mouth open.

  Lucas is still on the ground, still holding his bleeding nose, b
ut he looks shell-shocked.

  Charity and Ainsley and Nina are all there, almost as if they materialized out of thin air, and the expressions on their faces are pure shock.

  “You don’t have to do this,” I whisper.

  Ben ignores me. “You think you know the truth,” he says to Hayden. “But all you know is what Charity told you.”

  Beckett appears by Hayden’s side, as does Xander. Together, they look to be a formidable unit, but all three of them are strangely quiet.

  Hayden breaks the silence. “What are you talking about?”

  “Sydney and I are friends,” Ben says. His voice starts out soft but grows stronger as he continues speaking. “We’ve been friends for years. But I told some people she was my girlfriend because I didn’t want anyone to know the truth. That I was…” He falters. “That I am gay.”

  I grab his hand. “Please,” I tell him, tears welling in my eyes. “Just stop. Don’t do this.”

  Ben shakes his head. “I have to, Sydney.” He pulls in a shaky breath, then exhales. “She didn’t know. She thought we were just friends. And when she found out that I’d told people that, she got pissed and told me I had to come clean. She told me about you and how she didn’t want you to think she was cheating on you. Because she wasn’t.”

  More murmurs ripple through the crowd.

  Charity’s laugh breaks the silence. “Oh, please.” Her face contorts into a scowl. “You really expect him to believe that?”

  “I do,” Ben says. “Because it’s the truth.”

  “There was a picture of you guys kissing,” Charity snaps. “That sure as hell didn’t look like a friendly kiss to me.”

  “She kissed me as a favor.” Ben’s voice catches in his throat. “To see if I…if I felt anything. If maybe I was wrong about…” His voice trails off.

  “Stop.” My voice is firmer this time. I glare at Charity, wishing I had some sort of supernatural power to cut her down. “You don’t owe anyone an explanation.”

  “Oh my god, you guys.” Charity turns to her friends, her nose wrinkled in disgust. “He’s gay. He likes dick. Probably loves it up the ass. Ewww.”

  I march over to where she’s standing and laughing with her friends. Everyone else is quiet, and every pair of eyes is locked on me; I can feel them.

  I slap her hard across the face, the sound like a thunderclap.

  She gasps and her own hand flies to her cheek, where an angry, red mark is already appearing.

  “That’s for what you just said about Ben,” I tell her. I lift my left hand and slap her other cheek. It doesn’t land quite as hard but it catches her by surprise. “And that’s for the lies you told me about me.”

  I spin on my heel and walk away. Adrenaline is coursing through me, making my heart pound and creating a dull roar in my ears, but it doesn’t drown out the sound of a slow, steady clap coming from the crowd. I steal a glance and am surprised to see Xander leading the charge. Not everyone joins in, but a few do, until there is a steady clap filling the silence.

  It finally registers to Charity what is going on and, after a murderous glance in my direction, she lets out a strangled cry and forces her way through the crowd, with Ainsley and Nina hot on her heels.

  I look back at Ben, expecting to see the same shaken, dejected person I saw when he admitted to me he was gay.

  But the Ben standing behind me is standing tall, his back straight, his expression fierce and determined. His eye is practically swollen shut and I see a new bruise forming on his other cheek, but he looks strong. Proud.

  My hearts swells and new tears form in my eyes. But these aren’t sad or angry tears.

  These are tears of happiness.

  For Ben.

  For standing up for himself.

  For standing up to the truth.

  “Sydney.” Hayden’s voice is so low I almost don’t hear him.

  I glance at him.

  A muscle in his jaw twitches. “Is what he said…?” He runs a hand through his hair. His blue eyes search mine. “Is that the truth?”

  “You shouldn’t have to ask.” I shake my head. “You should already know.”

  Chapter 47

  Ben leans on me as we walk to the car, his steps heavy. I’m not sure if this is from the wounds he sustained from Lucas or the lingering effects of the three beers he downed.

  Probably a little bit of both.

  We get to the car and I open the passenger door. “Sit,” I tell him. It will be far easier for him to sit there than to try to navigate around the steering wheel.

  He eases himself into the seat, wincing as he does so. His left eye is now completely swollen shut and the skin on his cheek looks like an angry sunset, an explosion of purple and red.

  “You didn’t have to do what you did,” I tell him.

  “Yes, I did.” He licks his lips, and for the first time I notice a small cut between his nose and his mouth.

  “No.” Now that the threat is gone, now that we’ve left the party and everyone behind us, emotions flood me and tears rain down my cheeks. “You sacrificed everything for me. You told people the one thing you wanted to keep secret. Because of me.”

  He tilts his head back and closes his one good eye. His hands clutch his stomach and he moans softly. “I didn’t just do it for you,” he manages to say. “I did it for me, too.”

  I crouch down next to him, ignoring the pain that shoots through my own mid-section. Gently, I touch my fingertips to Ben’s cheek. He flinches and lets out a soft hiss. His body shudders, then goes still.

  Alarm rises inside of me. How bad is he injured? “We should get you to the doctor.”

  He tries to shake his head but stops, probably because it’s too painful. “No.”

  But I’m worried about him. I saw the punches Lucas rained down on him, saw how defenseless he was during the attack. His eye might need stitches, and I have no idea if he has any internal injuries from all the blows Lucas landed on his stomach.

  I reach my hand into the pocket of his hoodie. My fingers close around the keys I find there.

  “What are you doing?” Ben mutters.

  “Taking you to the hospital.”

  “No,” he protests weakly.

  “Ben, you’re hurt. You need stitches at the very least.”

  “I’m…fine.” His eyes slip closed again.

  “You’re not fine.”

  He doesn’t try to stop me when I straighten, keys in hand, or when I work myself around to the driver’s side of the car.

  I stick the key in the ignition and turn it. The engine hums and the radio blasts, startling me. I immediately turn it off.

  My hands grip the steering wheel and I stare out the windshield. Kylie’s house is still a beacon of light on the dark cul-de-sac, and people are still streaming in and out of the house. The fight between Lucas and Ben is probably already a distant memory for them.

  But it’s not for me, or for Ben. He’s hurt, god only knows how badly, and it’s up to me to get him the help he needs, even if he doesn’t want it.

  I push the brake pedal down and, after fumbling for a minute, manage to shift the car into reverse. I silently berate myself for not having my license or learning how to drive. I should know by now. What the hell is wrong with me?

  Ben’s head slumps forward and a fresh wave of panic washes over me.

  I shake his shoulder. “Ben.”

  He moans.

  I roll the car backwards, brake, and then shift into drive. I turn the steering wheel and ease away from the curb. The movement is a little jerky and my hands are shaking so much, it’s hard to hold tight to the wheel, but I’m doing it. I’m driving.

  And I’m going to get Ben to the hospital if it’s the last thing I do.

  Chapter 48

  The smell is what bothers me most.

  I’m sitting in the waiting area of the emergency room, which is oddly empty on a Friday night. The smell that permeates the air is plastic and sterile, like the smell of a fresh
box of bandages.

  I hate it.

  I glance anxiously at the clock. The triage nurse took Ben back almost as soon as we walked in. I was able to dig his wallet out of his back pocket and find his insurance card and there were some whispers behind the desk when they saw his name. It was then that I remembered his mom worked at the hospital, and that she typically worked the nightshift.

  “Where is he?” A woman in blue scrubs is standing at the check-in desk, and I know immediately that this is Ben’s mom. She has the same curly brown hair, only longer, her curls looser. But where Ben is tall, she looks to be barely five feet.

  The woman behind the desk says something and Ben’s mom nods. She heads toward the double doors that lead to the treatment area.

  I get to my feet. “Mrs. Elliott?”

  She stops and turns.

  “I…I’m Ben’s friend. I’m the one that brought him here.” I swallow. “Could you, um…could you let me know if he’s okay? No one will tell me anything.”

  Her brown eyes flash a mixture of confusion and concern, but she nods. “I’ll let you know.”

  She disappears through the doors.

  The wait is agonizing. The woman behind the desk approaches me at one point, asking if I would like something to drink. I decline.

  “I’m sure you’ll hear something soon,” she tells me with a smile.

  A few minutes later, Mrs. Elliott pushes open the door and beckons to me. To the woman behind the desk, she says, “I’m bringing her back.”

  I struggle to my feet. My stomach is sore, and so is my head from where Lucas yanked me by the hair. But I don’t really care about what’s hurting me. I just want to see Ben and make sure he’s okay.

  I follow Mrs. Elliott down the hall, past the nurse’s station and a couple of rooms, before she stops in front of one with the door partially closed.

  “This is a double but Ben is the only one in here right now,” she tells me, her voice low.

  We step into the room. A hospital gown has replaced Ben’s clothes, and beeping monitors surround him. An IV line is visible, taped to his arm. His eyes are closed, his breathing slightly shallow.